Everyone knows what it’s like to be stuck in a rut. Dealing with negative emotions is part of being a human being. We all need to deal with it.
But why would you stay in a negative place for longer than you need to? What if I told you there were ways to make yourself feel better?
Everyone is in control of their own happiness.
I’ve been in these situations more times than I care to admit. Through my own experience, I’ve developed some techniques to get myself out of a funk. I think they can help you. I will share them with you now.
Change the Pattern
Anytime I’ve ever found myself in a state of depression, the first thing I do is look at the patterns that have developed in my life.
In almost every case, I notice that I’m living out the same day over and over again. I’m in a routine, but an unhealthy one.
We fall into unhealthy routines because it’s comfortable. Yes, we might be sad or depressed inside, but at least we don’t have to deal with any real controversy. The best way to make yourself feel better is to change what is “keeping you safe.” Nothing will ever change if you are living each day in the same melancholy routine.
As human beings, we are much more habitual than we like to admit. Our success is highly dependant on the patterns or systems that we set for ourselves. So our patterns can either be moving us forward or keeping us stagnant.
I had a mentor tell me that life is like walking up a down escalator. You have to work hard to move forward and if you are stationary, than you are going backward.
That concept rings true for the patterns that we live in.
Many times, it’s the daily habits of our lives that lead to the biggest successes. As James Clear beautifully stated…
We don’t rise to the level of our goals, we fall to the level of our systems.
What’s your vice? What’s the pattern you fall into to keep yourself safe?
Break your patterns.
Get Around Other People
When I get down on myself, the first thing I do is start to isolate. I justify it by telling myself that I’m an introvert.
We are social creatures. We can’t justify our isolation by telling ourselves that “we are just introverted.” That’s not how it works. Even introverts need to be around other people. We need connection. We need to be heard. We need to hear other people’s stories and discover ways that we relate.
It’s a necessity. It’s just as vital to our health as eating your vegetables and drinking enough water. We need other people.
So how do you make this happen?
In my work with Sober Nation, I talk to a lot of people who are shy or who feel insecure about talking to strangers. It’s a perfectly valid fear and it’s understandable why that might hold some people back.
So my suggestion to them is to find your tribe.
For instance, I blogged the other day about getting back into Magic the Gathering. I know Magic, I understand it. I know the lingo and the language. I fit in with these people. So this weekend I am heading to a local comic book store and sitting down with some guys to talk superheroes and play some Magic.
It’s easy for me to fit in there. There’s a low friction point. So the question is, where do you fit in?
Maybe you can find a runners club in your neighborhood. Maybe you can find a pottery club or a gardening club. The possibilities are endless.
People are more accepting of you than you think. If you go somewhere and introduce yourself, I think you will be surprised by how friendly and inviting other people will be.
Usually, our fears are nothing more than the projections we’ve made in our minds.
Getting out of a funk requires you to find other people and spend some time with them. Share your feelings. Listen and be a participant. There’s no other way.
Respect Your Mornings and Set a Tone for the Day
The little things become big things.
The most important part of developing a positive system of living is to start in the morning.
Victories compound on each other. Little wins add up. Little victories build confidence and confidence builds more confidence. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy because when we feel good we do good which makes us feel good which makes us do good.
So getting that first win is paramount.
Your morning routine can set the ton for the entire day. I have the utmost respect for the mornings. I cherish them. I treat them as a measuring stick for my life. I suggest you do the same.
Without fail, my morning routine will dictate my success. My perfect morning looks like this…
- wake up at 5:30
- make the bed
- go out back with Alice, listen to the birds, give thanks, be grateful
- get to work on the things that are important and not urgent
When I am focused on my morning routine, what happens is that by 9 am, most of my work is done. My productivity levels are truly at their peak in the morning.
I know what you’re thinking. “I’m not a morning person.” Who cares? Do it anyway. Wake up a half-hour earlier on Monday than you usually do. The next week, wake up another half hour earlier.
I promise that before long, you still start to cherish the mornings too and you will discover how much impact they have.
To Get Out Of a Funk…
You have to attack it. You have to be intentional. You have to want to feel better more than you want to sulk and feel sorry for yourself.
Success in life requires you to be proactive. This is the case with your emotions as well. You must be proactive in your emotional and mental health.
Thanks for reading. I hope to read some of your comments below.