I hired a business coach.
I never thought I would be the type of person to do this. Over the years I’ve often scoffed and laughed at the people who talk about coaching. In my mind I would be thinking something like…
“Come on bro, a coach isn’t going to do the work for you. Why are you going to pay someone to do something that you could do for yourself?”
I suppose my view on this has shifted. For me, it’s not a matter of wanting “more success.” I already know how to do that. I’ve proven my value. I feel perfectly confident in my ability to take care of myself.
For me, it’s a matter of maintaining perspective.
When I was just getting started, I was a hungry dog. I had nothing. No money, hardly any friends, and miles of adversity ahead of me. But I had nothing to lose. When there is nothing to lose, you aren’t afraid of failure because if you fail, the worst that can happen is you will be in the same spot you are now.
Now, my life is pretty comfortable. Now, I have a lot to lose.
Yes, I still work hard and yes I am still very motivated, but I need to maintain that fire and that drive. I need to always be a hungry dog.
As Jason Kelce so gracefully articulated…
“Hungry dogs run faster.”
One of my first assignments in working with this coach is to come up with some “compelling reasons” why I need to be willing to go all in. What are my motivation factors? What inspires me to wake up early and give it my all every time. Here goes…
To prove to everyone that I can
I’ve never been very nice to myself. I have confidence and I have self esteem, but I’ve always had this little voice in my head telling me that I am not good enough. I carried a lot of anger with me growing up. I think I’m still holding on to it.
I never forgot about that kid in high school who got drunk and sucker punched me in the head in front of all those people when I wasn’t even looking. I can still perfectly remember stumbling around and falling over on my face. I was so embarrassed. I was humiliated. He snuck up on me and dropped me for no reason other than he didn’t like himself.
I never forgot about that time walking home from school when that group of kids surrounded me and relentlessly picked on me for the 15 minutes until I home. I’d tell them to leave me alone and they would call me a pussy and then I would try to act like it didn’t bother me and they told me not to cry. I remember every single one of them. Two of them died from heroin overdoses. Two of them are deadbeat dads. One of them is doing okay.
I’ll never forget about that one family friend that called me a “junky” when she thought I couldn’t hear. I remember the look on her face when I told her that I wanted to start my own carpentry business. She was practically laughing at me.
Is it sad that my biggest motivation is fueled by resentment? I imagine seeing them and I imagine that I won’t even bring up how they tortured me. I imagine myself walking past them without saying a word.
I’m motivated by getting the last laugh.
Travel with Juliana
I want to see the world with Juliana more than anything else. I don’t need houses or lots of cars. I want to see the world and I want to share those experiences with my soon to be wife.
Work from anywhere
I’ve always been in love with the idea of being mobile and being able to build businesses with partners from anywhere. I am compelled to live my life in this way and I will never be comfortable with having a boss who demands that I be somewhere at a certain time for a certain reason.
Maybe it’s my ego. Maybe it’s the fear of getting stuck in a “good paying job.” Maybe it’s the chip on my shoulder and I need to get over it. Regardless of the reason, I will never be able to accept anything other than complete freedom of my time.
I don’t ever want to stress about money
I understand that more money doesn’t necessarily make money problems go away. I get that and I need to be aware of that “more, more, more” mentality that keeps people from finding peace.
I have never forgotten how stressful it was for my family growing up when the bills were due. I will never, ever live with that.
I’m scared of dying with regret
I have this terrible anxiety on days when I sleep in, or on Saturday’s when I sit on the couch for too long. I’ve had many friends die suddenly and I know how fragile life is. I don’t have time to waste. I don’t like sitting around.
I would hate to come to the end of my days knowing that I had more to give. When I die, I want to have nothing left. I want to be at rest with the inner peace in that I squeezed every fucking ounce that I could out of life.
I get bored easily
Maybe it’s the addictive personality I have. Once I am able to build a brand or a website or an idea to the point where I can hire other people to manage it and grow it, I get pretty restless. Sometimes this is a fault because I spread myself too thin, but I love to live with new challenges and excitement.
Because I want to win
I wasn’t raised on participation awards. I wasn’t hovered over by my parents. They let me fall off my bike and they didn’t baby me when I came home from skateboarding all day with cuts and bruises all over me. They sure as shit didn’t make me feel like a winner when I lost.
My family always supported me, they taught me how to hold my head high if I did lose, they taught me that losing is okay, but they never ever let me feel like being number 2 was just as good as being number 1. Because it’s not. There is only 1 number 1.
Everything I do, I do it to be the best. I may not ever get to say that I am the best, but I still act with the intention of being the best.
These are as good a reason as any for me to give it my all. If not now, then when??