Be happy with what you have.
Yeah… I get it. But I’m not ready for that.
Every year, we grow more and more. Each year comes and goes and I think to myself, “I don’t know how we can top that.” But each year, we do.
There is value in restlessness. There are so many books and experts and gurus telling you to find balance and teaching you about the importance of finding peace and coping with anxiety.
Sometimes, I’m not so sure.
Sometimes, I feel that angst is more valuable than serenity, because comfortable people never change the world.
I’m okay with being uncomfortable. I’m okay with not being satisfied.
I’m well aware that I am living a privileged life. But I didn’t start off this way. I started off broken. It’s the fear of going back to the bottom that keeps me moving with such intention.
So I won’t apologize for it. I want to keep getting better. I want to keep growing. I don’t mind working for it. I really don’t. I want to come to the end of my days battered and weathered with stories to share and smile lines on my face. I want the world to know that I was loyal to Juliana, that I earned everything I ever had, that I gave back and that I helped as many people as I could
I don’t ever want to stop.
I’m so ready for 2019. I’m gonna fucking demolish this year. I got shit to do. There is important work to be done. I plan to do it and I plan to do it well. I’m not afraid of how bad it hurts to how uncomfortable it feels. I know it will all be worth it.